Katelyn is just over nine months old now, and I am just not feeling things. Sleep deprivation is at an all time high, the household budget an all time low, and my ability to conjure up energy has all but vanished.
There’s no two ways about it, I’m in a rut, and I’m not so sure just how to get out of it. Dance parties and cloud watching may work for some people, but this one is going to take more than a bit of fun to shake, I think!
Read on to see the signs that scream, “You’re In A Stay-At-Home Rut!”
Phoning it in
This is generally the first sign that I’m falling into a rut. Instead of being well organised and on top of everything, household duties start to fall by the wayside. The meal planner goes out the window. The dishes are left until the morning. I start relying on my poor husband to do more and more, when really it’s my responsibility to keep things running smoothly around here!
It just gets so bloody disheartening working hard to keep the place tidy, only to have to repeat the task again and again. I find myself thinking, “What’s the point?” more and more frequently and my care factor shrivels up and dies.
It’s no way to function!
Solution: No matter how small it may seem, just do something. So what if it takes over an hour to do the dishes because Katelyn insists on destroying everything in her path? At least they will be done and that is one less thing to feel guilty about later on.
Lack of Motivation
While I touched on this briefly with point number one, my apathy has spread beyond the mere drudgery of domestic work. In the past I would throw myself into my hobbies, but this time around I can’t even seem to manage that.
I’m so tired and blah about everything that by the time I sit down at my computer for the evening, I’m too much of a zombie to do anything other than watch Netflix.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with vegging in front of the TV, but it’s not something I want to be doing. I have dreams, dammit, and they are not going to achieve themselves.
I know I need to work harder, but I just cannot muster up anything when it comes time to sit down and get stuff done.
Solution: Stop making lame excuses not to do it, and take some time out on weekends to focus on my projects. Get out of the house, find a quiet spot that makes amazing coffee and just write without distraction. If I’m not prepared to put in effort, then I can’t get upset when others who do are more successful than I am!
Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster
I know when things are getting really dire when I find myself being a jealous little bitch towards other people. Whether it’s the other mothers at the school pick up who have great bodies and shiny new cars, bloggers who have a massive readership, or even unsuspecting mothers whose only crime is being better at breastfeeding than I ever was, I often catch myself thinking nasty things that are completely out of line and uncalled for.
I know it’s just me projecting my own pathetic insecurities onto them, and I am so thankful that I at least have the sense to realise that and I never, ever repeat any of the things that pop into my head! However, it’s not a cool thing to do and being so negative is not hot, and it’s certainly not making me any happier!
Solution: Stop looking at what everyone else has, and focus on all the good things in my own life.
Frustration and Guilt
I think this particular rut all comes down to feeling frustrated, and then feeling guilty about being frustrated!
I am frustrated because the family budget is seriously depressing, and I hate how dull domestic engineering is.
But then I feel guilty, too. Why did I have children if money is more important than spending time with them? How many parents would love to be able to stay at home and watch their bub grow up?
I went and enquired about child care, and found that it’s rather easy to get a spot locally. Not so easy is the employment part , and harder still is managing that guilt about leaving my gorgeous 9 month old daughter behind with a stranger all for a few measly extra dollars.
I’m not sure if I’m ready for that just yet.
Ugh! I don’t know what to do and it’s messing with my sleep deprived brain! Being an adult sucks.
Solution: Work out a list of goals for the next year or so and budget accordingly. If they cannot be achieved on one income, either sacrifice goals or find a job. It’s what every other family does, and we are no different.
I’m not sure if this is specific to the rut, or just an after effect of all the stress and tiredness, but if my body is a temple, then the temple is a serious need of a renovation. The locals are just trashing the place and it’s really starting to show.
My weight is still creeping upwards, and I even went down town looking like this yesterday:
If that’s not a cry for help, then I don’t know what is!