My Secret Shaker Shame

My Secret Shaker Shame

I have a terrible confession to make: for all of my harping on over the years about how fad foods make me angry, I’ve succumbed to probably the worst fad of all – a fad diet. That’s right folks, I’ve gone ahead and started up one of those lame shake diets where you replace food with something that is essentially flavoured baby formula. Yum.

Desperate Times

For most of 2016, I was doing pretty well in the health department – I even got within a few kilos of my pre-baby weight! – but that all came undone as the year drew to a close. Work cranked up the intensity to 11, my grandfather passed away and doctors discovered that K does indeed have an arteriovenous malformation after all. So, I did what any self-respecting hot mess would do in a time of great strain – I ate and drank myself silly.

On a particularly boozy night, I decided it was time to take control again and I rejoined the 12WBT program I did back in 2013. I had a lot of success with it before, so surely I’d nail it again, right? Wrong. I halfheartedly stuck to the program for a fortnight before I sprained my ankle and went, ‘fuck it, I’d rather be fat.’

The food seemed to cost a lot more than I remembered and the 40 minute long daily exercise sessions were awful. I hated every second of it, and was angry at myself for wasting so much money on a dud.

Of course, the problem wasn’t the program at all. I had the completely wrong mindset for a full lifestyle change and my utter failure to stick to it is proof of that.

Desperate Measures

You can only treat your body like a dumpster for so long before it starts to seek petty revenge on you, and any change is better than none at all. That’s where this shaker full of processed crap comes in – it’s a baby step I can take towards breaking the cycle that keeps me feeling like crap.

It’s a small change that takes minimal effort (Yay, no meal prep!), but hopefully as I start to get out of my rut and start to feel more like a human again, I’ll be in a better frame of mind to undergo that lifestyle overhaul I so desperately need.

Still, that doesn’t stop me from feeling like an absolute loser rocking up to the lunchroom with my bright pink Celebrity Slim shaker while everyone else is in their gym clothes chowing down on Quinoa salad!

Bottoms up.

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