Three months ago I wrote about how my husband impulsively decided to quit his job. Thankfully, everything worked out really well in the end, and I landed a casual job that pays me good money to do what I love — writing and creating graphics — while also allowing me to finish in time to pick up my son from school. But, perhaps it worked out a little too well, because Disconcur has gone and done it again; he finishes up at his current job on Monday and will instead focus on building a career out of streaming and content creation. Eek!
Twenty year old Neri was a glass-half-full kind of person. No matter the problem, I could convince myself that it wasn’t the end of the universe, that things could be so much worse, and that there is always a silver lining to even the hardest of issues. But, now that I am rapidly approaching 30, I have noticed that I have lost that spark and I’m just plain old negative about everything.
A little while ago I read this fantastic post by Nerd Burger that talks about turning 30. In it, Cazz mentions that she is, ‘not what people want her to be’ but she really doesn’t care. It’s reassuring seeing someone who is my age be so confident in her decisions, especially when I myself only have a few months left in my 20’s and seem to constantly feel the pull over what I want to be doing with my life versus what I *should* be doing with it.
Welcome back to another instalment of Questions and Answers, a link up party hosted by the lovely Kimiwho. This month we’re talking Valentine’s Day, collections and dreams you would chase if you knew you couldn’t fail.
I love having you guys around; being back here reminds me of just how awesome it is to actually have a life! But last night something pretty awful happened and I want to take this opportunity to clear up some things that you may not be aware of.
In the latest episode of Diary of a Noob Raid Leader, I mentioned that my husband has quit our guild and ventured off to greener pastures. In chatting with his new guild mate, Navimie of the Daily Frostwolf – Druid Edition, an interesting topic came up that I thought would be a good one to discuss here. Sweet Navi thought I may have been upset with her for my husband’s decision to pack up his things and head over to Dath’Remar. She mentioned that she would be sad if her husband made the choice not to raid with her anymore, something that I think most gamer couples would agree with. Being the oddball I am, I actually feel quite the opposite about the move. In fact, I’m happy that he has taken the plunge! No, not because I want to be rid of him, but rather because he is finally in a place where he can get out of his gaming experience what he has always wanted.
Basically, I’m not holding him back any more.
I have talked extensively about how our guild, Concur, is made up of family and friends from back home on my World of Warcraft specific blog, Neri Approves. What I haven’t talked about, though, is how sometimes those ties have been a hindrance for my husband. The truth is, he has wanted a lot more from the game than my little guild was capable of giving him.
First was the PvP let down: our members just are not interested in RBG’s or Arena. Then came the raiding. Oh god, the raiding. Long story short, our guild is all talk about wanting to be “serious” when in fact, we are far too casual to be classed as a real progression group. He made efforts this expansion to change that culture, but he was fighting an uphill battle and it took a toll on his enjoyment of the game.
On a personal level, I used to hear about how we were failing to live up to the expectations we had set for ourselves all the time. Those reasons are why I myself chose not to raid full time this expansion (Though not wanting to hold up the raid group if our son woke during the night was another big factor); the difference between what the group wanted and what we actually were capable used to get under my skin. It was definitely a frustrating time for the both of us-we even considered looking at other MMO’s to play together, but to no avail.
The problem wasn’t World of Warcraft, the problem was the guild. When that became clear, I never even dreamed for a second of trying to stop him from going. In fact it was me who put him in touch with his new guild in the first place!
It really is wonderful to see how much he is enjoying himself again. Frostwolves are proving to be everything he has always wanted in a guild; casual enough to not be raging jerks but serious enough to get stuff done without needing their hands held. If anything, I am envious of how much he is enjoying World of Warcraft at the moment! As I mentioned in the last weekend thread, I am feeling a little burned out on the game and I don’t think moving server or increasing my already over-extended raid commitments will help change that.
While he may no longer raid under the Concur tag, there is still a bunch of stuff that my husband and I can do in-game that don’t involve the stresses of raiding. 5.2 goes live tomorrow, and that means there is an entirely new island for our Paladins to explore together. Who knows, with cross-realm grouping available and decent incentives for us to actually care about dailies, I may even get that ever elusive screenshot of our main characters together which has so far escaped me over the past six years!
How would you feel if your significant other decided to leave your guild? Would you try to stop them, or would you follow suit? Can couples play the same game differently and still find common ground? Share your stories in the comments below.